personal reflection on a rainy day

So, as many of you know…I am now 23.  Don’t ask me…I don’t feel any different, I don’t have gray hairs and I unfortunately still have my period.

This morning, like every morning… I walked to work.  I walk everyday because my bike is currently broken and I am too lazy to get it fixed.  40 minutes to school and 40 minutes home.  A lot of people here think I am crazy “look the gringa is walking again”…but walking brings me peace.   I have my music, not many people are out, the sun is rising…and I have 40 minutes to leave all of my negative energy in the streets.  Putting aside the air contamination, piles of garbage, the occasional homeless man peeing on the wall and the stray dogs…it’s therapeutic.

During these long walks, I laugh.  I laugh out loud.  I sometimes feel stupid…but I don’t care.  I smile to myself and I laugh, laugh, and laugh.  I laugh about stupid things I said when I was drinking, I laugh at my students, I laugh at my life, I laugh at my own insecurities…I laugh.  I sometimes pretend my body is a car and when I pass people on the sidewalk I like to mumble “zoooooom.” I laugh.  I am laughing right now thinking about how stupid and weird I must sound. I entertain myself for 40 minutes each morning and each evening… and I laugh.

I can’t wipe a smile off of my face.  I am 23 and I am happy.  I am not just happy in terms of “how are you today?” happy.  I am overwhelmingly overwhelmed by happiness.  A calm has taken over.  

I’ve never been full-filled like this before.  I’ll admit it.  It has taken me a very long time to achieve this, feeling…this sensation.  Of course I have had periods of my life where I was happy…but nothing compares to the completeness that I feel today.  I feel happiness on a different level.  There is happiness in the tears I cry, in the pain that I sometimes feel.  A year ago I was really struggling.  I was at a low point. I conformed.  I conformed socially, emotionally, and I was easily influenced.  I agree that it’s okay to go with the flow… but it’s not okay to be the flow.  I wore clothing that did not reflect who I was.  Christ, I was wearing Polo and I was shopping at Talbots.  Nothing against Talbots, or Polo…but they are just…not me.

I will never regret who I was.  I’m still the same person to everyone else.  But inside…my human nucleus-has changed.  Why?  Let’s rewind to a few important milestones in year 22.

Graduation. From October to May of last year I finished my last year in the University.  I got a 4.0 GPA for my last two semesters and graduated with honors.  I worked at the VT education abroad office, which opened many doors for many international opportunities, one of them being the Peace Corps. After being accepted, I was handed a token of bad luck and experienced for the first time what it was like to take responsibility for “my” actions.  As unjust as my situation was, there was something to learn and there was definitely no one else to blame but myself.  At the time…my world crumbled.  Everything that I saw so clearly turned into scattered blur again.  I cried for a month straight, I think. If it weren’t for the endless support and comfort from my parents and my roommates I would have jumped ship, no doubt.  I hit rock bottom.  But we all have to understand…that life moves on.  You have got to get out of bed. It’s cruel…but nobody, nothing stops for us.  We are alone.  It is a very difficult concept to understand, but it’s real. 1. We are nothing but a number.  If we can’t learn to help ourselves, we go off the grid.

Independence.  After the painful formalities of graduation, I spent three weeks in Florida and chau, moved to Chile. I haven’t told this to many people…but I had an out-of-body experience three years ago while spending a summer in Chile studying Spanish.  Standing on a beach in Chiloe,  (in the very South of Chile) I changed.  I can honestly say there was a moment, a moment of complete, mind, body and soul, transformation.  A type of energy erupted through my veins … and I matured.  I can’t explain it because no one can explain what happens during these moments.  But for the only time in my life…I can say, at this moment, this one solitary moment, everything I once knew, everything I understood…became dislodged, and refreshed, it was a new beginning.

So after graduation, I came back.  I came back to the culture, to the people that I enjoyed so much for just one summer.  I’ve been here for almost a year and a half now and I just recently decided to stay one more year to gain more experience and save my money. I can’t stand when people say to me “come back to the USA so you can start the real life.”  Excuse me.  Last time I checked…I was living a “real” life.  But I get it, I’m not following the rules:  I don’t make a lot of money.  I am not doing anything related to my degrees nor am I studying something new. I am not engaged… I’m 100% single and I chose my solitude.  I don’t want a car.  I gave away my IPhone because I hated it.  I don’t like football, I actually hate football and I could care less if VT wins or loses.  I only own enough clothes to get through 1 workweek. I live in the present and disregard the future. And I value my independence over anything else in the world. 

Living in the United States I felt so much pressure to follow societal rules.  I respect and value the rules. I do, I really do. If there weren’t rules, society would be a mess.  However, I think a lot of people follow the rules because that is what is expected.  I chose not to.  I create my own rules.  I am judged for this.  I am doubted because of this.  But it makes me stronger.  It motivates me to live.  Not to let life pass me by…but to live.  Be on the offense. Embrace life.  Challenge life.  Be an individual.

Solitude. There was a time in my life that I couldn’t be alone.  I needed to be surrounded by people, always.  A room full of strangers still turns me on.  I crave it.  I love it. The art of a conversation has always been my forte.  However, in this past year I have learned to enjoy time alone.  I can be with myself for hours.  Really, I find it that you are never alone.  My best friend and worst enemy is my mind.  I constantly question my own perspectives, I have confronted my darkest of thoughts…and I have taken my mind to really, scary, places.    I have learned where I don’t want to be.  And I have learned where I want to be.  We always read articles about being positive and how positive thoughts lead to positive outcomes.  It is 100% correct.  There is something positive in everything that is negative.  We just need to challenge ourselves to find it.  It has always been difficult to keep my balance…but I now know what I need to do. When I fall down I know what it takes to get back up.  I learned how important it is to keep a healthy mind.  I started meditating.  In the beginning I did 15 minutes a day.  Now I try to do 30 minutes.  There is a peace in taking deep breaths.  In forgetting everything.  Being alone is okay. It’s good, it allows us to explore our human core and grow.

Love.  This past year I fell in love for the first time. I find that love is the most powerful sensation there is for humanity.  It consumes us.  It eats us alive.  It takes over our ability to think, to move, to breath. Love forces us to break down. Love tore me apart and spun me in circles.  But it’s beautiful.  Words are not necessary in the world of love.  With love, we communicate with silence, deep eye contact, and touch.  We memorize the crevices in their hands, the freckles on their backs…our tiniest details are exposed.  There is no room for insecurity when we are in love.  We are stripped of that option.  We give ourselves to another person.  I lost a small part of my independence.  It was ok.  I remember the moment I realized I was in love.  It was simple.  Lying on the grass with my head on his chest.  I heard his heart beat and we were in sync.  It was powerful.  I felt like we were one.  It was…an amazing feeling.  He taught me how to love. I put everything aside and let it happen.  I know that everyone has different experiences with love…but I hope that everyone, one day, can feel what I felt.

Friendship.  Bouncing right off of love.  I feel that friendship is the next best thing that I have gained over the past year. Now, I am not talking about a typical friendship here.  I am a master at making friends.  I have tons of friends.  If you look at my Facebook, I have over 1000 friends.  I could be a professional friend maker.  But living so far away I have realized who my real friends are in the USA.  There are people that I thought I would never speak to again and have proven to be better friends then others who I spent all four years at the university with.  It’s weird how friendships work out.  It has also been a bit of a journey making friends in another country, in another language.  However, recently I was having a drink with my Chilean friend Pamela, who told me how important I was to her.  She told me about a discussion she had with her mom:

“Sarah is someone that is gets along with everyone, I can bring her anywhere. With Sarah, she’s not just a friend that I ‘party’ with.  She is someone that I can hang out with, watch movies with, invite to the house for tea."

It has been really difficult to find girlfriends here in Chile.  As simple of a statement it was…it meant that I was finally accepted.  You don’t typically have conversations like this here. You just, don’t. I have ‘proven’ myself as a person of trust, morals, and openness.  The basics.  I guess I can thank my parents and the Catholic Church for that.  She told me that she could be herself around me.  Exaggerations, material items…were not necessary.  We had built a strong friendship.

I also learned that I can be a bad friend.  There are people that have reached out to me and I have turned them down.  I enjoy disappearing sometimes.  I don’t respond to emails, I refuse to turn on Facebook chat, and I don’t…reciprocate.  This is something I hope to change. Friends are important wherever you are in the world.  Just because I am here doesn’t mean my friends aren’t interested in how I am, my job or my crazy Friday night out.  It’s important to share.  Sharing is such a fundamental concept…but we sometimes forget how.  I have become more selfish.  This is true.

There is something to learn everyday.  There are always things you can better about yourself.  For example, I am currently working on my reactions to conflict, getting rid of grudges and my selfishness.  We all have our faults but in the end of the day I’m a decent person.  I know that this has been a pretty 'deep' blog post haha…but I’ve had a few days of personal reflection.  I hope that you can all take something from what I have written…or maybe now some of you will just, understand me better. 

One thing though…

You need to ask yourself…are you truly happy? Really dive into your emotions.  Question what you’re doing.  Play your own devil’s advocate. Test yourself.  Find your darkness and front it.  We forget to do this…we are scared to do this…but through my internal journey over the past year I can’t express how important it is to find total acceptance.  Your very own…equilibrium.

 23 is going to be a great year. 

On a totally less serious note.  The above post is super profound.  I know.  It was a rainy day and my mind was rolling. There were about six other themes that I wrote about that I saved for another day.  One of them was my family.  I have come to terms that it is important to find our own type of therapy.  For some it is exercise, others it is laying on the beach with a margarita, and me…I like to clear my mind through writing.  So, I write.  Some of it is funny…some of it is jumbled up confusion and the rest…well, it is my own generic thoughts.  Today, I wanted clarity. 

Like I mentioned, I am doing really well here in Santiago.  I am forcing myself to participate in, everything, a little more.  I recently decided to stay another year.  The school I work at offered me an indefinite contract.  I really didn’t want to stay.  I wanted to move on and start a new adventure.  However, my mom made a really good point.  She said that I could have a new adventure…but in Santiago.  She told me I needed to stop running.  It’s okay to stay put.  In the end the school year is only 9 months.  I have always been on the run.  When I feel comfortable, it’s time to leave.  It got me thinking.  After summer vacation I am going to change the house that I live in.  I want to move to the center of the city.  A place called Barrio Brasil.  It is an old part of the city but it has a lot of character.  There are a lot of artists, coffee shops and eccentric bars. I think it will be a good fit…or at least a nice change.  I am going to start playing the guitar again.  I will be getting a larger salary so I will pay for classes.  Instruments are so universal…they can connect us with anyone, anywhere in the world.  I would really like to have this skill to share with others. I am going to play soccer again.  I have been doing a lot of running recently and I really miss playing soccer.  It will also open up a new network of people.  Anyway, changes. 

I am headed back to the USA for a full month in December.  I’ll spend the majority of my time in Florida.  I’ll get to see a lot of family.  I will also be celebrating NYE in Washington DC with my friends.  10 days in DC will be amazing.  After this I am going to take a month to travel the south of Chile, alone.  I don’t want plans or drama.  I’ll finish my trip hiking Torres del Paine in Patagonia. 

I wish that I could give you all more about my day-to-day life here.  But I really do not have a lot of news.  I am giving private English lessons to a man that is good -friends with the Chilean president…I guess that’s cool! I am celebrating my birthday tonight.  Friends are coming over for a few drinks then we are going out dancing.  Monday. I am starting my summer campaign.  Healthy eating, exercise….bikini season, YIKES!

Thank you, everyone, for the birthday wishes that you sent me.  It was a wonderful day and I have had a bunch of great moments with special friends. I love and miss everyone and I hope to hear from some of you that I haven’t heard from in awhile. 

I’m done.  I’m mentally drained and I need to go organize my room and take a shower. 

Have an easy week. 

SOME PHOTOS TO SHARE: 

 Eating sopapilla's with my friend Camila during September 18th-Chile's national holiday.

 At a fonda celebrating 18 de septiembre.  It was my turn to play waitress.

 Participating in the relay race at our work bbq.

 a photo of my friend Pamela and I at a picnic.

I learned how to dance Chile's national dance.  The cueca.  Spending time with 'family' and friends.

free write, oooo yeaaaa 23rd post

I have been wanting to write so bad for the past few days.  So I am not going to pay attention to grammar or the thought process and just give it ago.

Well things have been complicated since I got home from the United States.  I had such an amazing visit and saw all of the great things my friends are doing that I am starting to reconsider how long I will stay here for.  NOW…I am not saying that I will be returning back to the US, I am just saying…I am looking at different options and not letting any opportunity pass me by....costa rica???????? i want a male surfer to feed me frozen fruit, play with my hair, draw my name and his name and a shape in the sand, and buy me a green motor scooter.

My job, is, well, getting old.  I still love my little babes who give me all the love and attention that I need to get through the day…but my working environment is just horrific!   There is constant drama, jealousy issues and I am just getting tired of it! 

For example, I went to a party with co-workers about two weeks ago...i went with the Jesuit student priests, after eating at their Jesuit dorm house, and driving in their Jes-mobile.  about two hours into the night.. a group of the elementary school teachers showed up.  Yeah, I know, they have their ‘closed’ group of friends…but I tried to interact and get to know the group as to the fact that I work with them and never have the opportunity to share with them outside of the classroom.  Well, not to my surprise, they gave me the cold shoulder and continued singing karaoke (they were deafening).  Eventually, the boyfriend of one of the girls approached me and told me that he wanted to practice his English, annoying. Yeah, sure, whatever. MAXIMUM 10 minutes I spoke with this mammoth when I escaped for a potty break.  When I exited and returned, I was enlightened with a huge, scream-o fight between A. girlfriend/co-worker and boyfriend/gringa-chaser.

After embarrassing themselves in front of everyone.  The boyfriend re-approached me, (what did he want this time, Christ). He told me “I am sorry, I can not speak with you anymore, you know how Chilean women are.” NO SIR I DON'T

Well, needless to say, I had limited friends the rest of the night.  The girls and their boyfriends left (without saying goodbye)….that made for a very awkward Monday morning at school. Cueeeeeeeeeck,

It’s been cold here…I finally bought a new winter jacket.  It’s really stylish…it’s actually kind of like a sleeping bag.  I’ve slept in it at least 4 times since I bought it.  The greatest thing is that it was only about 30USD. I love bargins and I love big green jackets.

OHhhhhhhhHHHHHhh do I have some funny relationship/dating stories for you all.  I guess I should go back to the first one….

#1, Nice boy, takes me out for dinner and drinks, soooo original and cute…………..I know!!!!!!!!!  Well anyway, after racking this guys bill up…(was not planning on a second date) I go to offer to pay for half.  HE ACCEPTS AHHAHAHAHAHHAHA jokes on me.  Shit.  ANDI had just gotten done explaining to him that I was a “POBRE-SORA” Like a “PROFESORA” but inserting “POBRE” like a “POORPROFESSOR”…it was one of my first Spanish jokes-don’t laugh too hard!  Well anyway, I opened my bag to take out my money…when I realized…I only had what was equivalent to 2USD.  I had forgotten that I took my money out when I went out dancing the night before. Uuuuuuuuuuuu that was awkward…AND it made it impossible to deny a second date. 

LESSON LEARNED: NEVER offer to pay.

#2, After a few miserable dates…I finally found someone that sparked a little interest.  Marcelo.  Really cute, long-ish curly hair (sometimes he put it in a little bun, LOVED that), moreno, a mix between hippy/rock, driven, energetic.  Solid guy.  I actually met Marcelo when I was with my ex-boyfriend.  He was the waiter at a bar that we always went to.  (our eye contact was like fire lazers, rawrrr)  and, naturally, when I became single, I somehow found myself perched up at that very same bar, every night, for two weeks straight.  Until, the magic happened, our first conversation, sighhhhhhhhhh. 

I had been at the bar with some of my guy friends watching the Spain vs. i forget soccer game.  long story short, i finally had a conversation with marcelo, told him i couldn't stay and hang out with him and his friends because (obvious reason, i didn't know him, only his eyes) i had plans with my guy friends and i left. BUT, i was feeling saucy and about 30 minutes later, i ditched my guy friends and i RETURNED hahahaha who does that?...it was like a movie, yep, and there he was ...with his friends.....reallllllllly confused as to why i reappeared, and to be honest, my first line was, "i don't know why i am here again, i feel crazy." but loveeeeeeee (or lust) makes you crazy, doesn't it??? definitely pulled that out from the knowledge i have gotten from my obsession of chick flicks.

Yessssssss, and after our first interaction, everything fell into place.  We had many magical?? dates, drinking beer,….yeah, ugh, anyway…. But after about 2 months of texting and gchatting it was time to wrap the relationship up, i was bored and he expressed he wanted something serious and I still wanted….drinking beer dates. 

So he came over one night to hang out…you know,  listen to music, discuss theory, hug, play pogs….our relationship.  And as we were in the process of discussing life, we started to talk about 'clarity.'  And through all of my current confusion in life, and lack of “clarity” it was at that moment, I couldn’t have felt more certain that I did not want to spend another moment with this boy….profounddd, right!  So, I ended it, right there…right then. He. Did. Not. Take. It. Well.--- he stormed out like a 12 year old girl that just got told she would have her braces on an extra year. 

            In retrospect, I am not sure if it was my Spanish, and that I couldn’t express myself 100% or just that he had really strong feelings for me and I stomped on his red shape. but in the end i do feel 'a' ping of guilt....he left me a really expensive gift that I am still hoping to give back to him, one day.

LESSON LEARNED:  NEVER play pogs with curly-haired Chileans.

#3 This happened last night, not sure if it is too soon to be writing about this…but it is TOO good not to share.  The best part about this.. it wasn’t even supposed to be a date!  We have a new roommate, Felipe, and he’s great…he has really made a great attempt to integrate himself into the house ‘onda.’ Last night I got home for work really late and he asked me if I wanted to get a drink with him—it was on him. SURE, why not. Free mojito-I’m in! Well, after about 100 peresonal questions, 2 mojitos, and 1 corona later …he tells me he wants to take me to his favorite bar that has live music. Sureeeeee, why not...holiday tomorrow, no cellphone to escape, live music…I can dig it.

Worst. Decision. Ever. Not only was it weird having my roommate telling me “how good” I look (I hadn’t showered in two days, no make-up, purple pants with a a lime green shirt, uffffff I was looking, ufffff) but that wasn’t the worst part.  The average age in this bar was 40.  All, couples. And the music…not even sure, romantic folklore might be the genre? And, you can imagine how awkward that made things… and better yet he started a sing-a-long. And NOT, just sing….SHOUT. He was, belting out the words to these romantic love songs. People were staring.  But this kid had his eyes closed screaming so loud he didn’t seem to care.  I did. Oh my god, I did.  After about 3 songs of painful humiliation ...

I yawned and told him I wanted to go home.  Pouting, he said…”just one more song.”  I told him I’d wait outside.

LESSON LEARNED: …………………………NEVER go out with a Chilean?

Well besides my unhealthy, unlucky love life….drama-filled job---I think I’m doing okay!  I have a lot of things to look forward to.  Next month I am going to the CHILE vs COLUMBIA soccer game here in Santiago.  Then about a week after that is 18^th de Septiembre.  I have a week off from work and it is the best holiday in the world.  Chile’s Independence Day. I will behave badly, eat a lot of food, dance my booty wild and enjoy every moment of it.

Personal changes…I have brown hair and a dreadlock. Yes, 1, dreadlock. If you tell me you don’t like it, I don’t care. I just can’t wait for the day I don’t need to strap a plastic bag to my head in the shower.   Most people fall depressed suffering a broken red shape.  I get a dreadlock. 

Here’s some pics.

Some of my friends at work... Angela, Ricardo, Me, Rodrigo, Cecilia

This picture was taken outside of the historical theatre at the colegio.  It was the "Dia de San Ignacio" where we were celebrating the Saint, Ignacio. We had a very formal lunch inside the theatre.  It was a three course meal with really great red wine and good company.  They offered us espresso and a desert bar at the end...I went wild. 

War zone.  The most recent Chilean Educational protest.  I live about 10 minutes walking from here.  As I was riding my bike to school, I turned down a street to find hundreds of people running in my direction throwing those little bomb things. errrrrrreeeerrrrrrrr quickly turned my bike around zoomed back to my house...left my bike there...jumped on a micro...was on it for about 4 minutes when the driver said that he would not continue on the normal route because he didn't want to have this happen:::::

So....I had to get off the bus. SPRINT to the metro...where I arrived to work about 20 minutes late... and had an asthma attack.  When I walked through my neighborhood later that night I noticed that there was glass smashed all over the ground...there was not one stop light standing, EVERYTHING had been torn down and destroyed.  There were also still things burning in the streets.  Walking through the streets the next morning I was still affected by the lingering tear gas.  I had to walk to school with my scarf over my face...but my throat still burnt and my eyes still were watering.

On a lighter note, here is a picture of me and my German roommate, Kerstin, at the cicletada 200.  It was a protest for better bike paths in Santiago. There is one on the first Tuesday of every month--but this one was special as it was the 200th one! There were over 1000 of us that met in the main plaza, Plaza Italia. People were dressed in costumes, others had boom boxes strapped to their bikes, there were balloons everywhere and it was pure craziness.  We took over the big main street in Santiago and road in a pack for about 2 hours.  We stopped all traffic and had a blassssssst.  IT WAS AWESOME--and I only ALMOST fell once!!! ...maybe right after this photo was taken.

Plaza Itlaia, Cicletada 200

alright well, i'd say i'm done. i have no new news. i walk, i eat, i breathe (sometimes, i'm really suffering from the smog) i go out at night and i'm single. oh, i watch netflix in my bed, season 3 of lost. and i am still reading 50 shades of gray...kind of like a boyfriend? it's raining today. i am going to a friend's to cook homemade pizza. but i really would prefer to eat dominos deep dish. 

whatever. gotta go shower. hopefully the water doesn't scorch me like it always does.  no wonder i haven't shaved my legs in.....

over and out

'a picture is worth 1000 words'

Some photographs to document the last two, almost three, months of my life!

 After having pneumonia and being out of work for almost two weeks ... I decided I needed a break from Santiago.  I went to Viña del Mar, a beach city about two hours away, to celebrate my friend Camila's birthday.  (Natalia, me, Camila)

 With my only American friend in Santiago, Katie.  However, she recently just left me to go back to the USA after being in Chile for almost three years.  I am really sad about it (although it is good for her--i'm being selfish)...I now have no one to complain to about cultural differences, boys and all of the nonsense that girls talk about with their friends ;)

 This picture is taking in my living room.  I came home from work one day right when the sun was setting and loved the way it was shinning through the window.

 This picture is taken about 40 minutes outside of Santiago in the campo (mentioned in previous posts). It belongs to the parents of my friend Seba and it is the perfect weekend escape from the city. There is something about breathing fresh air and sharing with a  family when you are away from your own.  Whenever I go I always manage to eat myself sick, relax, and return home to the city feeling refreshed.

 This is a picture of me and the son (Nico) of my host sister Gabriela from when I studied in Chile three years ago.  We were making our favorite foods out of play dough.  I made a completo (what I was craving at the time).  It is a typical Chilean food, which is a hotdog with avocado, tomato and mayonnaise on top.  It's delicious...especially if you add mustard and aji ;)

 This photo was taken at Punta de Tralca, which is a small beach town about two hours north of Santiago.  I had a retreat with the other professors at the school I teach at.  Although it was raining we still tried to enjoy the beach as much as possible.  I was not at all looking forward to this weekend but it turned out to be really fun and I got to know a lot of my co-workers.

 At the retreat we sang karaoke.  This is my friend Ricardo and I singing to Morrissey's "First of the Gang to Die."  We were booed off stage...I will never forget the look on my bosses face.

 THIS WAS AMAZING.  This was a dinner that I made with my roommates and people that had previously lived in my house.  It consists of chorizo, tons of seafood, cabbage, onion and pork.  It may or may not be one of the best things I have ever eaten in my life.  We spent the day cooking, watching soccer, eating, and dancing.  This day was beautiful because it was the despidida (going away party) for my friend katie...and also for Carlos (the only boy in the photo below) because he will be moving out of the house in just a few short weeks.

 The generations of 1315 Salvador. I would consider them as part of my family here in Chile. <3





TRIP TO THE USA: First time back in over a year. 

I flew into Miami and we decided to stay for the weekend to enjoy the beaches and night life.  This is a picture of Lucy and I swimming in the warm, Miami water.  It was so great to finally be reunited with my family.

 Some of my girlfriends from Virginia Tech came to visit me.  Kate, Andrea and Erin.  They all flew down and we had a blast catching up and spending the weekend at the beach.  We laughed...a LOT.  Once best friends...always best friends.  I'm missing them already.

 My friend Rick also came down to visit me!  At Tech he was my neighbor and he always came with me to all of my date functions.  Being the only guy he obviously heard a lot things he didn't want to hear and put up with a lot when he was in Florida with all of the girls.  We went out with him one night and all of us girls were on the prowl to find boys at the bar...we kept referring to him as our "gay friend Rick."  It turned into a joke the rest of the weekend...he handled it very well (FYI: he's not gay) We are planning to meet up in Costa Rica this January or February to visit our friend Bob.

 After participating in a beer tasting and playing a bunch of American drinking games... I guess we found the old halloween costume box??? Every time I see this picture I laugh.  We are a good-looking bunch.

 With my best friend in the entire world, Kate.

BACK IN SANTIAGO!  First night back in Chile I went to an asado with a bunch of friends.  

This is a picture of me with the boys.  These boys have become my brothers here in Chile. (Orlando, Javier & Leo)  Without them I do not know what I would do.  I was trying to lay across their laps to do a "sexy" pose.  Unsuccessful.

I hope everyone is doing well.  It has been difficult getting re-adjusted to Chile after having such an amazing vacation home for two weeks.  I have a million stories but there are too many to write. However, I thought it would be fun to give everyone a glimpse into what's been going on. I have more pictures on Facebook under "Untitled Album." 

I would love updates from everyone.  Shoot me an email! 

animo

So it has been way too long since I have given any updates!  I can’t blame it completely on being busy but maybe that I have been exploring and finding out what I want to keep me busy.  Over the past month and a half I have been through so many ups and, well, naturally, downs.  But I am still doing well, taking each day as it comes…getting through each challenge and enjoying living by moment.

If I recall correctly I mentioned a few posts ago that I was enjoying the fact that I “finally had a routine!” well, shoot me in the foot. I actually hate it.  Of course, it’s great to have a stable income, but the everyday formalities, the same people,  and the same negative attitudes … it’s tiresome.  I have been stuck in a routine for only three months and I am already craving adventure and change.   Brazil 2013?  We’ll see.

Looking back, the last thing that I mentioned was that my friend Carlie was coming to visit from Buenos Aires.  God, that feels like centuries ago.  Anyway, it ended up being a beautiful weekend and it was great to see a familiar face.  It was exciting to have the opportunity to show her around Santiago and have her experience my so-called “life” here in Chile.  Although sometimes I feel like everything here is fake…like it is all something to keep me from taking part in “real life.”  But then again…what’s real life?

                                                 Carlie and I taking a walk down Santa Isabell

                                                 "Three Blondes Walked into Chile...."

                                                  Eating fresh seafood at the Mercado Central.

                                                             A night out with friends!

The weekend after Carlie left was Easter. We had a three-day weekend and there was nothing stopping me from leaving the city for a few days of fresh-air in a smog-free sky.  Fortunately, I was invited by my friend Seba to go to the “campo” to stay at his family’s house.   After having an extremely lazy day on Friday, we headed about 45 minutes outside of Santiago to a small town called “Aguila Sur,” only to be welcomed by Seba’s family and a bunch of our friends who had just finished a game of soccer.  We spent all Friday night eating and drinking, eventually falling asleep with full-bellies… in a state of complete relaxation.  Saturday was spent, once again, eating, and laying out in the sun.  In the late afternoon, our friends headed back to Santiago while Seba and I stayed…spending the rest of the weekend, eating and sleeping some more!!! Tough life, I know!  But I returned to work on Monday a new person… completely mellowed out with a positive attitude.

 *This is what we ate on Friday night.  It is called a “disco” and it was filled with different types of seafood, chicken, and chorizo…all mixed into a brothy goodness that we drank out of small teacups.   We also ate homemade empanadas made with cheese and jaiva (type of shell fish), dipping each bite into the spiciest aji that I have tasted. 

After returning from a weekend away, the next two weeks were fairly boring, just doing the whole teaching thing and getting together with friends.  It was also during these two weeks that I experienced my first ping of homesickness.  I think after spending a weekend away with such a welcoming family it made me miss my own.  Also, I think it is normal that after 10 months of living in another country you start to miss the people and experiences that make you who you are. 

As difficult as those two weeks were (thank you, parents, for talking me through it) I am back on track again and I am happy as can be. But after dealing with the emotional roller coaster, I, obviously, was feeling antsy and needed to change it up again.  So I decided to head north to La Serena.

 I have two gringa friends, Katie and Abbey, who I met while working for the Chilean government, and who both stayed in Chile for a few extra months to work and spend time with their “pololo’s, “ boyfriends. It was their last weekend before their return to the states so I thought it would be fun to visit them to celebrate.  Luckily, my friend Seba, also, was going to La Serena to visit family so it made the 7-hour bus ride a little less unbearable.

Well.  The weekend was interesting.  After arriving and having the opportunity to check out the beach and meet some of Seba’s family…I was off to meet up with my friends for a crazy night out!  I was dropped off at their awesome cabaña and we had a blast talking and drinking piscolas.  We later went out to celebrate the birthday of one of their friends at a local club.  The night started out a blast, dancing and meeting a bunch of new people…but, as it got later, …my verrrry good gringa friends…disappeared, leaving me wandering the streets of La Serena, alone.  Thank God for Seba and his family…who came to find me at 4:30 in the morning.  Not embarrassing at all… these things happen all the time….( or so I keep telling myself).

Anyway, the rest of the weekend was great.  I went to Coquimbo, a neighboring city to La Serena, to experience the fish market and eat raw seafood!  It was delicious!  I also met up with the girls for dinner to receive my never-ending apologies and to catch up a little more (I still love you two, haha!)  That night Seba and I walked through the city center and drank wine with fresh fruit. And although the weekend was not as planned, putting all things aside…it was really, really fun and I am happy that I was able to see my friends!

                                                  Taking the dog out for a run on the beach :)

                                                         A beautiful La Serena sunset

                                                                           Water break!

And then there was two weekends ago. Which was a 4-day weekend.  It was spent relaxing and meeting up with friends that I had been neglecting during the weekends while I was away.  I went out a lot and slept a lot.  It was nice to stay in the city without set plans.  I experienced a new place called “El Galpon” which is a local venue for concerts.  A group of us sat in Plaza Brasil drinking beers before the show started.  I saw cover bands of Manu Chau and Los Fabulosos Cadillacs.  Here is are some links to some of their music:

Manu Chau

Los Fabulosos Cadillacs

Overall things are going well.  Work has been extremely busy preparing for the “World Book Day,” but it has finally died down a bit this week. Just recently the hours changed here in Chile.  Now it gets dark around 5:30 PM and in the mornings it’s light around 8AM.  It’s quite depressing and without heat in the house…I’m going to die!  (I’m exaggerating, kind of).

This past week, I did something that I will most likely regret and karma will definitely come back to bite me in the ass.  But at the time, I felt that it was completely necessary, and yeah, I’m still not sure if I reallllllllly regret it.  But anyway, riding home on my bike from work, I had the worst luck ever!  Hitting every single light, I kept stopping next to the same car that was occupied by two Chilean guys.  After the second light I noticed that they were secretly “snapping” photos of me with their camera.

I really do not mind the attention that I get for having blonde hair here in Chile.  I always have my headphones on so I tend to ignore any crude gestures or catcalls.  However, photographs, come onnn..have you really never seen a blonde girl ride a bicycle before?  I was feeling saucy.

At the third light we stopped at, I was starting to get annoyed. The two guys whistled and when I looked at the car, they took a picture. The nerve! I got off my bike…took one step, snatched the camera from the guy’s hand (with no intentions to return it) and said:

“Ahora, quiero uno de ustedes” (Now I want one of the two of you)

I turned to my right and saw that there was a man passing by on the sidewalk.  And while getting back on my bike I grabbed the man’s arm and asked:

“Quieres una camera?” (Do you want a camera?)

and handed it to him….all while speeding away.

I didn’t hear a peep from the two slugs in the car…I am assuming that they were in shock. And, ok, I know it may seem dramatic and I may have handled the situation the wrong way.  But…I still think it was deserved. Ugh, whatever.

I have been spending a lot of time with a group of professors from work.  We are all “newbies” and like to keep away from the endless drama that our departments bring us.  We are always planning happy hours and dinner dates,  just last Friday we met up in Bellavista for a drink before we all headed our own directions for the night.  It’s such a diverse group of people.  A 40 year old lesbian, 26 year old soccer fanatic,  24 year old intellectual and well…me, the foreigner.  There are always a few extras floating around …but I’d say we’re the “core group.”

This past weekend was spent here in Santiago and again a night in the Campo.  This upcoming weekend I will be hosting a party for two close friends that will be traveling for extended periods of time.  Daniela, who works for Doctors Without Boarders and will be headed to Africa to finish her term and Seba who is taking a 3.5 -month vacation to Europe.   It should be fun!

One rant….Something that irritates me about Chileans: when they clear off the table to take everything into the kitchen to be washed…they stack EVERYTHING.  Stacking makes it so much more difficult to clean…you have two...extremely messy sides of the dish, and for some reason I always find myself in the dishwasher role.  The small things…I know.

I have written a book here so I am going to leave everyone with this:

I am coming (for the first time in one year) to the United States July 7-20.  I will be staying at my family’s house in Florida.  All are welcomed to come visit!

Also, I would love to get some updates from everyone!  Shoot me an email!

Sending all the cariño in the world.

resfriada & temblores

So this past week has been quite a whirlwind.  I must have gone through about 5 rolls of toilet paper.  And no, not because of backside, silly hiney issues but because I was slapped across the face with a major cold, which left me miserable and cranky.  It is Monday and I am still not feeling at all 100%.  Working with my little nuggets is a glorifying experience…but there are some downfalls…one of them being GERMS!....and the occasional desire to punch a concrete wall.

I think I’m doing ok as a professor.  I’ve only made two kids cry so far.  The first was because I wrote a note home to a student’s parents about his behavior and the second because I got too aggressive during recess and I kicked a soccer ball at a kid’s face. 

In addition, I have started to feel a little uncomfortable with a few of my students in one of my first grade classes.  They refer to me as “mama,” and like to give me lots of hugs and kisses.  I always need to reinforce that I am NOT their “mama,” and that I do not have/nor want children.  Today, they took it too a new level.

Matias (the leader of this group) was giving me my normal “child/mother love.”  It was sweet and innocent until he reached up, grabbed my left breast, and said “leche, leche…yo quiero leche.” (Milk, Milk, I want milk).  This is when I had another professor take control of the situation, informing him that Miss Sarah did not have “leche” in her breats.

My bike is the best investment that I have made in Chile.  I now can leave 25 minutes before work and arrive without any problems.  I’ve only hit two pedestrians and one other bike.  The bike crash was not my fault.

Friday night I celebrated my roommate’s birthday with red wine and lasagna.

I spent all day Saturday at a religious retreat that was made mandatory for all new employees at San Ignacio.  I had to be at the school at 7:30AM and I didn’t arrive home until 7:30 at night.  Considering the fact that I am currently in a phase of “religious exploration” and have a low-tolerance for Chilean formalities…it was horrific.   And by horrific…I fell asleep while the priest was talking. Torture.

Fortunately, later that night there was a festival in my neighborhood “Barrio Italia” where all of the art galleries moved their work out into the streets, and there were live bands and free drinks.  Afterwards I went to a friend’s apartment for an asado.

Today was a great day.  I had two of my girlfriends here in Santiago come over and help me make a brunch for a few friends.  I went to the supermarket and bought a bunch of food to cook with.  I wanted to make it a “thank you” meal to all of the people that had taken care of me during my time of financial difficulties.  We made pancakes, French toast, scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, strudel, fruit salad…and even mimosas! It was a great afternoon with a ton of laughs…(I shared stories about my obese childhood)…and everyone left with full bellies and big smiles. Success.

Other than this…everything has been pretty laid back.  I thoroughly enjoy having a routine, waking up in the morning…going to school etc.  I forgot to mention that I got asked to start an English club.  I’ll be getting paid about 200USD extra a month for about 6 hours of work…I’ll take it!

I almost killed my plant Neil.  I knew that I couldn’t handle the pressure of being responsible for another living being.  However, after some critical care, he is starting to turn green and firm again.  I promised myself that I would do better with his feeding schedule this week.

This week is also very exciting because I will have my first visitor.  Carlie, one of my closest friends from Virginia Tech will be coming and staying with me for a few nights.  I hope she is prepared for all of my plans!  I can’t wait to show her my city and introduce her to my Chilean life J

Also, I guess I should mention that I am okay in despite of the news regarding the earthquakes here in Chile.  I am very accustomed to tremors after being in Iquique.  However, this weekend I was a little uncomfortable after the two tremors we experienced here in Santiago.  Saturday morning at around 4:30AM I woke up to my bed slamming the wall.  This one lasted about 20 seconds and was really loud.  Then, last night (Sunday) we had another one that lasted about 40 seconds and was a result of the 7.2 earthquake that hit the southern region of Maule.  For the first time, I could literally feel the ground moving below me…and not in a back and fourth motion but more of a circular motion, jolting everything around.  Although it was a little scary…it was also kind of entertaining.

I finally have my iPod back.  My friend Sebastian took me to the store to get it fixed...I walked out with a new one! Exceeeeeeellent. 

Two things I have been pondering over the past week:

1) Friends of mine told me that in Germany boys sit down to pee….I can’t stop thinking if it’s true or not.….does anyone know/been to Germany?

2) I also saw a midget…using a midget bike.  I am debating on whether the bike was especially made for the midget…or if it was just made for kids.

Congratulations to my brother, James, for getting a new job... :)

Life is going amazing.  I am so content, with everything.

Over and out.

English Department: San Ignacio

                                 Some English Professors at Breakfast: Danitza, Me, Claudia, Tamara

                                 Leo's Birthday (Last Friday): Sebastian, Caroline, Me & Pame

                                                                         Again....

                                                               Caroline & Me :)